Liberals Table Plan to Replace Troubled Phoenix System with Random Number Generator

Tensions have been steadily rising over the last few years as the cost for the new Phoenix Pay System has ballooned out of control. The centralized system designed to compensate public servants is now expected to cost over half a billion dollars to fix. This week, however, the Liberal government is proposing a bold new system that will solve all of their problems: a random number generator.

Carla Qualtrough, Minister of Public Services and Procurement, sat down with us late last night to discuss this bold new plan.  

“It’s a very sophisticated system.” said Qualtrough, “it takes into account seniority, job type, bureaucracy rating as well as many other factors to generate a probable range of pay and then randomly selects a number from that range.”  A system like this would be the first of its kind for any government – municipal, provincial, federal and even international.

“People were upset about letting the HR personnel go.  The good news is that they are all back and working harder and more inefficiently than ever.  They are indeed performing the highest level of public service possible! The amount of new jobs that Phoenix has created has been staggering. Of course, we have no way of knowing if or how the new hires will be compensated.

When asked about why the government cannot simply pay employees according to an agreed-upon salary, Qualtrough commented:   “We’ve looked into this option extensively, it’s just not feasible in the long term”.

Ottawhat 144 – Matt Hertendy

Matt Hertendy from the New Theatre of Ottawa company joins us on this episode. Listen now to learn about some of the things that go on behind the scenes of building a company, and everything Matt and his team is working on!


Sponsor –

This episode is also brought to you in part by Audible.com. Visit audibletrial.com/ottawhat today and get a free audiobook and free 30-day trial, and feel good in helping support the show.


Links:
New Theatre of Ottawa
Slow Cooker: New Play Reading Series – Friday, March 23rd

Beer:
Juicy Ass IPA – Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery

Ottawhat 143 – Nathan Adolphe and Natania Abebe (Stars In A Jar)

On this week’s show, we met Nathan and Natania, the co-founders of Stars In A Jar, a charity helping to connect child cancer survivors with young cancer patients. Learn all about how they got started, what happens on jar nights, and find out which restaurant in Ottawa has the best mock chicken.


Sponsor –

This episode is also brought to you in part by Audible.com. Visit audibletrial.com/ottawhat today and get a free audiobook and free 30-day trial, and feel good in helping support the show.


Links:
Stars In A Jar
@Stars_InA_Jar – Twitter
Stars In A Jar – Facebook

Beer:
Lunch Money – Collective Arts Brewing