City to Build Rainforest on Sparks Street to Bolster Amazon HQ Bid

City hall approved a $110M proposal this morning to convert Sparks Street into an Amazon-esque rain-forest in an effort to secure the bid for the tech giant’s second headquarters. This is the latest attempt by the nation’s capital to secure 50,000 new jobs in the tech sector. Somerset Ward Councillor Catherine McKenney felt like the city had to up its ante in order to to compete with the likes of Stonecrest, Georgia who offered to change their city name to Amazon or Kansas City’s mayor who bought and reviewed 1,000 products from Amazon’s website.

McKenney’s ambitious plan is to create a large greenhouse on one of North America’s most popular pedestrian promenades using high impact plexiglass and various membrane materials. The proposal includes plans to fill the temperature-controlled greenhouse with 150 endangered animals, native to the Amazon. By purchasing 150 animals, this will allow the city to use the $28M remaining from Canada 150 celebration funds.

The Councillor has contacted many South American zoos to acquire several dozen jaguars, anacondas and other amazonian animals. The sanctuary is anticipated to cost upward of $45.6M to build, and will create an estimated 40 full time jobs in addition to the 50,000 Amazon jobs.

Some are praising the city for proposing to create a space to house endangered animals and creating new jobs. Others, including federal environment minister Catherine McKenna are criticizing the council for the estimated 225 metric tonnes of greenhouse gases that will be created annually to heat the sanctuary in the winter. A small price to pay, says McKenney, to turn up the heat in this Amazonian bidding war.

Facebook Turns to China for Guidance on Fake News Censorship

By: Eric Turmelle



Early this afternoon, Facebook announced details regarding their plan to tackle the fake news problems that have recently surfaced. Some credit Fake News as one of the major contributing factors to Donald Trump’s victory in the U.S. election. During the last few weeks of the campaign, stories such as “Pope Francis Shocks World, Endorses Donald Trump for President” and “FBI Agent Suspected in Hillary Email Leaks Found Dead of Apparent Murder-Suicide” spread like wildfire through social media. The aforementioned stories were not only completely false, but the “source” of the content, the “Denver Guardian” is not even a legitimate news outlet.


Facebook plans to develop an algorithm that will automatically detect Fake News, and remove it from the site before it is even posted. Users will be warned a few times, and then eventually banned from the site if too many repeat offences are detected. Facebook confirmed that it will be partnering up with the Chinese government to develop these algorithms.


“When it comes to content management [censorship], China is light-years ahead of us,” said Facebook president Mark Zuckerberg in a press conference just a few hours ago, “Without their assistance, it would take many years to develop the content control algorithms we are looking for. With their assistance, this will take a mere few months.”


He continued “When users see content posted on Facebook, I want them to be confident it’s the truth. Users should not be expected to verify sources using other sites. Facebook should be the only source of content our users need, and with the help of the Chinese, we can make this a reality.”

While the future of internet censorship in North America is still uncertain, large sites such as Facebook will likely have an influence on others. While it is important to verify sources, censorship should be used with caution, as –CONTENT REDACTED–

Baptist Church in Westboro Seeks to Change Name

By: Keegan On

Reverend John Raymond has started his day the same way every day for the past 11 years: by dumping the church’s mail into the garbage. For over a decade,  his church has struggled to distance themselves from a similarly named organization based out of Florida.  The American ‘Westboro Baptist Church’ is a religious organization known for their hate speech and severely conservative views on just about everything.

“We receive hundreds of letters and emails a month, mostly horrifying” explains Rev. Raymond. “I’m not sure what’s more disturbing, the messages of outrage sent for that other church or the ones of praise.”  

The Ottawa church has been attempting a rebrand since October 2015, but has been unable to come up with a satisfactory name nearly one year later. Past nominees include “Our Holy Baptizer of Westboro” and “Richmond Road Baptist Church”. The organization is accepting pitches for their new name, which can be submitted through their humble website, www.godhatesbrags.com.